moonshine
by fantail
Summary: a girl ends up in middle earth but is not a marysue! there will be no lovydovey mushy stuff in this story...What will happen to her when she dosn't go after the elf? Hopefully it has a few laughs for you to enjoy as well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing! All lotr related places and characters are a gift from on high. Rita and Steven are on loan from the zoo. Bridget is my alter ego more commonly know as Mwarg. (I no it sounds weird but that's her name, honest.)

Legolas was escorting the delegation from Gondor thru the more northern regions of Mirkwood. The evil that had once resided there had been wiped-out by himself and his people, but he was keeping an eye out all the same. After all, his good old friends Gimli and Aragorn were with him, as well as Aragorn's young son and his wife, the beautiful Evenstar.

"So how is married life treating you Aragorn?"

"Well, its quite tiring, if you no what I mean." Gondors king replied with a smirk.

Legolas was frankly horrified that his friend would insinuate about his lady thus. Gimli cracked up laughing at the look on the poor elf's face.

"You obviously have still to find yourself a lass lad! When you do I'll stop calling you lad."

Legolas's look could have made mosquitoes pop. "You know very well that it's not like that for elves. We can not just fall in love willy-nilly, we can not handle the heart-break."

"I no lad, but a lady friend would certainly help loosen you up, your far to up-tight."

Gimli had started to run as he said this, as he knew the blond elf would throw a hissy-fit, and Legolas had just started to chase him when the dwarf saw his friend stop, a look of bafflement on his face.

"Gimli, look at that." He was staring at something just behind the dwarf.

Turning, he saw something he did not expect.

There was I shining square of light, just hanging in the air. Slowly it cleared until the entire delegation of men and elves, and one dwarf, could see it for what it was. A window. A window in to an entirely different world than the one they were standing in. It was a street, with strange metal carts without horses driving along it. Three young people were walking alongside it, two girls and a boy. The boy was tall with sandy-brown hair, he was holding one of the girls hand. She had shoulder length golden-red curls and a pretty, pixen-like face. The other girl was shorter than both of them, with dark brown hair down past her waist, braided along the sides away from her face. She was wearing a long, forest green coat.They were all laughing, and the dark haired one was skipping in circles around her two friends.

"Riiiita!" Bridget screamed, falling of the side-walk into the gutter.

"Serves you right for being such a dork Bridge, all your teasing is making you clumsy." Rita-the fiery-red-head laughed as her crazy friend resumed her dammed circling. "You're such a nut case."

"Weeeee! Peanuts! You'd know what those are, wouldn't you Steven?"

"Silence slave!" Steven said, looking down his nose at her.

"Damm I hate being short…" she mumbled, much more demure now.

"Ha Bridget, you almost look sane."

The delegation was watching in amazement. They were actually watching another world! The young people had started to cross the road, they obviously couldn't see the window. They were about half way across when it happened. The dark haired one, Bridget, seemed to trip over her own feet and fall over, a few of the elves present snickered, it was so typical of mortals. Bridget was just getting to her knees when one of the cart things appeared in the distance, driving very fast. Legolas looked on with growing horror as it came closer, not slowing down. The girls' friends had noticed and Rita started to run back, calling out. Bridget looked up in time to see red ute that hadn't seen her smack into her at 60kms per/hr.

The she-elves and mortal women in the group screamed as the girl was thrown forward by the impact, the ute hitting her on the upper arm, she landed with an audible 'crack' as her head hit the ground, and was then partially dragged across the ground because the ute couldn't stop in time to avoid running over her.

Once the screeching of tires had subsided, there was silence. Nobody, on either side, moved. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, the window was gone. Legolas looked around him, some of the ladies were crying, most people looked scared. He walked forward to where the window was, looking for a sign that it had actually been there. There was nothing, just empty air. He sighed, baffled as to what had just happened. The tall blond elf was about to return to the group when he heard a sound, like a small groan, looking down he saw a small forest green bundle, slowly changing to a dark, wet brown as it soaked up the life blood of the girl lying unconscious on the forest floor. Legolas almost had a heart-attack.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own Bridget I suppose…

Pucker Up Elf Boy!

Bridget's head hurt, and her face and right hand felt puffy and numb. She opened her eyes only to discover that everything was blurry, it took her a few moments to focus and then a few moments more to understand what see was seeing. A ceiling. And she didn't recognize it. It was then that Bridget heard the voices; they sounded close, but were muffled.

"Legolas, mellon-nin, please stop worrying! I have told you already, despite what we saw earlier the girl has obtained no internal damage, she will live. The grazes on her face and hand aren't infected so will heal without scars, the arm was a clean break and will mend quickly. That head wound is the most worrying, but if she wakes within the next few days we will know that there is no lasting damage. She will probably be a bit dizzy and confused for a few days, but she will be fine."

"Hannon-le Aragorn, I know you are right. But…Did we really see, well, what we saw? Do you believe she is from another world?"

There was a pause.

"I don't know what to think right now."

Bridget had closed her eyes, since the voices seemed to think she was still asleep. She didn't want them to know she was awake, I mean, Aragorn and Legolas! She had obviously been kidnapped by some serious Tolkien fanatics. Suddenly she felt someone touching the side of her face that wasn't numb.

"Touching me!" she screamed, and opened her eyes to find her self staring up at the wide, sparkling blue eyes of one very startled elf. An elf who looked awfully familiar.

"Wow." She thought. "These people are seriously freaky."

The Legolas look-a-like was frowning at her.

"Oh my purple monkeys!" she whispered, "I've died and gone to middle earth!"

With that she leaned up and kissed the sex-on-legs leaning over her full on the lips. Then she fainted from the shock of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer; you know how it goes. Legolas isn't mine, I've just tied him up and locked him in my closet.

Chapter three: Thank You Captain Obvious.

"What in the name of the Valar just happened!" Legolas yelled. He was so shocked he had almost fallen over, and was now leaning on the wall for support.

"I believe she just kissed you." Aragorn replied, the human much calmer than the elf for a change.

"Thank you Aragorn, I hadn't noticed." Gobbets of sarcasm fell to the floor. His sneer (yes sneer) would have put Bridget's purple monkeys to shame.

"No need to get snarky Legolas, I was just saying. Honestly, what did you expect me to say? Congratulations on being the world's most fridged elf! A note of anger had crept into Aragorn's voice (just a note.). He loved his friend, but in this case, he was totally over-reacting.

"I've had girlfriends."

"Not many."

"Well forgive me if I don't sleep with every silly bint who throws herself at me! Unlike someone I know."

Aragorn was furious. "The only woman I ever slept with I married. I'm going to bed." He walked out without a backwards glance.

Legolas looked over at the sleeping girl with trepidation, absolutely refusing to admit how terrified he was, although he couldn't have said why.

Authors note; Thank to my reviewers! I was starting to get despondent that nobody was reading my story and wasn't going to update, but, this chapter is for youse! (wow that's actually a word.)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer; Bridget is scary. I don't want her any more.

Chapter 4; Polishing the Floor.

Bridget woke to the sound of birds, she opened her eyes to see soft gold sunlight filtering into the room. Smiling pleased that her vision had returned to normal, she sat up, being careful of her throbbing head. Then she remembered what had happened the last time she woke up. 'Mwahahahaha!' she laughed to her self. 'I kissed Legolas! Or at least a Legolas look-a-like, he he… Jealous fangirls will throw rocks at me…'

It was then that Bridget noticed the might-be-elf in question sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, staring into space. She waved her hand in the air in his approximate line of sight. 'Nothing. Not even a blink.' Bridget snorted. 'Talk about obsessed, he's even doing the elfy trance thingy.'

She watched him for a while. Slowly, an evil grin spread across her face. She'd teach the look-a-like to slack off on the job, and have some fun as well…

Bridget stood up, forgetting all about her dizzy head in the midst of her excitement, and fell flat on her face with a loud "Oomph!"

Legolas was roused from his trance by a 'thump', followed by a stream of loud and rather advanced swearing... He looked over to see the girl lying face down on the floor. He wouldn't have thought someone as young as she could've know such words.

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly.

-There was silence-

"Excuse me? I said-"

"Suck arse pie fucker!"

"What? I was only asking a question." Legolas was shocked. No-one had ever spoken to him thus. Not even Aragorn.

"Well, isn't it obvious what I'm doing?" Stabbed in the head with sarcasm needles.

"You're lying on the floor swearing. Why?"

"Polishing the floor!" Bridget screamed, rolling over on to her back and staring at him.

Legolas stared back for a while, completely at a loss. Finally he said:

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you kiss me?" He was starting to get annoyed.

"I kissed you?" She was starting to have fun.

"Yes!"

"When?"

"Before!"

"Before what?"

"Before when you woke up!"

"I woke up?"

"Yes!"

"Well, who would have thought."

There are no words to describe to describe the state of Legolas's bewilderment. Makes a pretty picture though.

"Do you mind helping me up?" Bridget asked innocently.

"You belong on the floor." Legolas replied, reaching down and clasping her arm anyway.

"Aaaaarghack!" Bridget screamed. "Ah fuck, my arm! What'd you do?"

Legolas had clasped her by her broken arm and tried to pull her up with it.

"I'm so sorry!" he cried, kneeling down next to her, "Your arm is broken."

"My arm is broken! How come your aware of this and I'm not!"

There were tears streaming down her face and she was clutching her arm to her chest.

"I'm sorry, truly, I didn't mean-"

Just then Aragorn walked in, hearing the commotion.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing. An accident Aragorn."

"What kind of accident-"

Just then, he was interrupted. Bridget does that to people.

"Legolas? Aragorn? Who the fuck are you people! And what do you want with me?"

She had slid across the floor to the wall when Legolas was occupied.

"I am Aragorn, King-"

"Of fucking Gondor, I know. You're a liar! And don't you dare tell me your Legolas Prince-of-bloody-Mirkwood," she yelled, turning to Legolas, "'Cos he's an elf, and elves aren't real!"

FallenTruth: You are loyal. I like you. I'm glad you like it so far, but I'm kind of stuck as to where to go next, so any ideas would be welcome.

Xtyuru: I will try not to make this Mary-sue. I think you will be pleased.

Gingatastic: I know who you are!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer; I stole the preciousss! My preciouss…

Chapter 5: What Am I Doing Here?

A/N: Although it may not be evident in this chapter, for strategic purposes later on Gandalf has not yet left middle earth like he does in the movies.

It was early spring in Mirkwood forest, the trees waking up in bursts of green after the winter cold. Legolas smiled to himself. This would always be his favourite time of the year, he thought, acknowledging another greeting from one of his woody friends.

The Gondorian party had arrived in autumn and stayed over the winter. Now it was spring they would be returning to Gondor within the next few days. Legolas would be going with them. Since most of the elves were leaving there was really nothing left for him to do here$. Then he remembered who else would be coming along with them, the other-world-girl, as he called her, Bridget. She was currently sitting in a tree watching everyone prepare to leave. He assumed, since she had very little that actually belonged to her, that she had already finished packing.

She had been with them for just over three months now, and her injuries had pretty much healed$$. Legolas had decided, although not with complete certainty, that Bridget was sane. There was no denying that she was defiantly strange, but the trees spoke well of her so Legolas let it pass.

Bridget was depressed. The trees were nice here; lots of big branches with scratchy bark and moss and lichens, but that didn't change the fact that she was stuck in a strange world, entirely dependant on the charity of others.

When she had first let herself believe that she really was in Middle-Earth, and it really was Legolas, gorgeous elvan prince of Mirkwood who was talking to her, she had been ecstatic. Thoughts of countless Mary-sue fan fictions had flashed through her mind. 'I'm a Mary-sue! Legolas is mine!' she'd thought, 'My preciousss…'

But she'd always had multiple personalities, and the sensible, cynical one had chosen that exact moment to show up and remind her that she was not a story$$$, but a real person.

Bridget sighed. In fan fiction it was so easy for the girl to capture Legolas's heart; he didn't care that they weren't elves, but mortals, he loved them even if they weren't the most beautiful, it didn't matter if they were all crazy psychos from another world… All Bridget could do was sigh.

"Oh well, she thought, I've kissed him, and that's more than most."

But she was still depressed.

She had no idea what she was here for. The war of the ring was over, so yeah, she new what was going to happen, but so did they, they'd been there.

And now she was being dragged across the bloody country because they didn't know what to do with her either. She'd miss this forest, even if she wasn't the Mary-sue; some of the other elves here were really cool. And she was enjoying passing on her warped sense of humour. There was one elf in particular, a bit on the thin side (although you could never call an elf scrawny), who had caught on to her idea of fun real quick.

Bridget constantly insulted Calmacil$$$$, and he gave as good as he got. He looked like most other elves did, fair of face, pale blue eyes and fine straight, silvery-blond hair. Despite all this, he still reminded her of her friend Stephen, back in the real world, and they had become fast, um, for lack of a better word, friends.

"Speak of the devil" Bridget mumbled, spotting Calmacil walking beneath her tree. She threw an acorn at his head.

"Oww!"

"Hey Cilly! What's up?"

"Oh, it's you." He said looking up, "I thought it was someone important."

"That's not very nice! Scrawny weed lover!"

"Get down here and say that to my face you dirty little urchin!" he yelled, waving his fist.

(They're not very insulting I know, but these two are just very immature together.)

Legolas shook his head. Over the past few months those two had wrecked havoc on Mirkwood. He gave an involuntary shudder, remembering how they had set the kitchen on fire; the place had smelled of smoke for almost a week. Then there was the time when half the palace had woken up with moustaches drawn on their faces. The elven maidens had been particularly, um… upset. Legolas just hoped Bridget would calm down when she was with her own kind. Then again, maybe she'd get worse, and that was a scary thought.

_$I'm taking authors liberty here, and forgetting for the purpose of story that Legolas goes to Fangorn Forest and the Glittering Caves with Gimli. Bloody dwarf._

_$$I've no idea how long it actually takes for a broken arm to heal, even though my sister broke her arm. Shows how observant I am aye?_

_$$$Don't you love the irony? Oh the irony$$$$$_

_$$$$When I put my name in the elven name generator, my last name was Calmcacil, which I can't even pronounce. So I think Calmacil will pass for an elf name. _

_$$$$$Sorry about all the doller signs, but I've been reading Terry Pratchett. Go Discworld! (actually, i wanted stars,(they were supposed to be stars!), but FFNet doesn't accept them, grumblegrumble, and doller signs were the only thing they would accept multiple times! Talk about frustrating...) STARS!_

A/N: Chapter 5 is kind of a jump chapter, because the characters have to hurry-up and get to Gondor in order for the story to progress, and I couldn't think of another way to get them there, so, sorry for the lack of 'action'.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer; same as always!

Chapter 6: Stupid Bloody Horse…

A/N; I have nothing against horses.

"I can't ride a horse! I can't feel my legs!"

The party of travellers were about three hour's ride from Gondor, and Bridget had been yelling this since the day after they left Mirkwood.

"Bloody Mary-sues are liars," she mumbled, "Every time _they_ turn up in Middle-earth they can just jump on a horse and ride off in to the sunset! But not me, no! I have to get the bloody temperamental horse with ATTITUDE PROBLEMS!"

Legolas had had enough.

"Just shut-up Bridget! We all know how you feel, stop being so vocal about it!"

Bridget shut-up.

He was very grateful that she was listening, for a change, and actually being quite. It wasn't until they got to Gondor and everyone took their horses to the stables, that he realised she was missing.

"Oh for pity's sake!" he cried, "She's so bloody emotional."

Calling over his shoulder to Aragorn that he was going to look for Bridget, Legolas got back on his horse and ambled off out of the city.

Said mortal was walking. And mumbling. Bridget had thought her horse was temperamental, but she was wrong. It was just plain evil.

"It's my own fault for being so petty." She mumbled, "If I had just called for help, then I wouldn't be in this mess."

After Legolas had told her to shut-up, Bridget decided shewould. She wasn't going to say anything unless it was absolutely necessary. So, when her horse had lain down on the grass and refused to move, she hadn't said a thing. Even when everyone else had disappeared from view. (I have no idea why she didn't think this was important, but then, who can tell how she thinks, Bridget's munted.)

She had just started walking, there wasn't much else to do, but then her horse had got up and run off without her!

"Muntified spaz-fit cornflakes!" (Legolas had told her off for swearing.) "I hate you!" she screamed after the horse, and preceded to kick up the turf, resulting in Bridget being covered with mud and grass stains. When she had calmed down sufficiently to notice, she felt more than just a little bit embarrassed.

"My purple monkeys have deserted me…"

Legolas hadn't been riding long when he spied Bridget's horse cropping grass. Bridget her self was no where to be seen. He spoke to the horse in elvish, telling it to go on to Gondor. It would be dark soon. They had won the war against evil, but a lot of evil creatures had now been freed from the dark lords' dominion. He had to find Bridget quickly.

As it turned out, she wasn't that far from Gondor. If he had left her for a few more hours, she probably would have got there herself.

"Bridget, why are you walking? Do you know how worried I've been? What if something had happened to you? What were you thinking!"

'Wow' Bridget thought, 'He's having a spaz fit'

"I did say I couldn't ride a horse. What do you expect when no-one listens?"

"But _why_ are you walking?"

"Because the bloody horse wouldn't walk with me on it! That's why!"

Legolas looked at her.

"Why are you covered in grass stains?"

"The grass stains? Oh, um… I fell over?"

"You fell over? And what, crawled along the ground?"

"Um, yes?"

He laughed and smiled at her. It really wasn't fair that any one person could be so lovely.

"Come on Bridget," he said, pulling her up in front of him. "I'll give you a lift back."

_Authors note:_ Sorry it has taken me so long to update, I'll try and be quicker with the next chapter, but I can't make any promises, I do have exams coming up.

**Elvan shield maiden of the night; **Thank you so much for your review! I've read your name in other authors review responses, I feel like I've been reviewed by a celebrity. :)

To my other reviewers, I haven't forgotten you!

Please review, I need the encouragement. :).


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer; has anyone else noticed how addictive fanfiction is? I have become a slave to the corporation.

Chapter 7: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Sitting in her room on her canopied bed that faced a window over-looking a perfect view of the city of Minus Tirith, Bridget was still in shock. It was so large! The movie had been a good likeness of it, but you just couldn't comprehend the sheer _size_ of the place, especially the tower, until you had stood at its base and looked all the way up.

She felt uncomfortable here. In Mirkwood everyone had known where she had come from, and accepted her behaviour as normal for her world. But here, amongst humans, she would have to be so much more careful of how she acted and what she said. Bridget knew quite well how judgmental people could be, and unlike back home, here, she had no friends to turn to for comfort. 'I wonder what time breakfast is around here?' she thought. 'Maybe I'll go look for Legolas…'

Wandering around the halls, Bridget couldn't help but notice all the stares she was getting from the servants and other people she passed. 'Gosh.' She thought, 'if they're like this when I'm wearing a dress, just wait until I get my pants clean.'

She was trying to find the kitchen. Her and Legolas gotten back so late last night that they'd missed dinner. No-one had seemed to realise this, and Bridget was starving. 'That's it, I'll just have to ask the next person I meet.'

"Excuse me" she said to a passing boy, "Can you tell me when breakfast is?"

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've missed it." The mystery boy replied.

"Well then… can you show me the way to the kitchens?"

"That I would be happy to do" he said with a smile, "Follow me."

It had been just like in the stories. The kitchen folk had been only too happy to feed a growing youngster. Then Harod (the boy she had asked for directions), had promised to show her around the city. He had also told her why everyone was staring. It was because she had travelled to Gondor with their King and Queen and the Elven Prince, and they were curious as to whom she was, because she certainly didn't act like a lady, but she didn't act like a commoner either. Bridget had told him she had lost her memory, because she didn't think he would believe the truth, and that she had been found in the elven forest of Mirkwood. He had seemed to believe her, so she had left it at that.

While they had been walking, a messenger had come up to her to tell her that she would be dining with the royal family and friends. Harod had looked at her with awe.

"You are to dine with the king?"

"They were the ones that found me you know."

"But he is the King! And our Lady Queen and the Elven and Dwarfish Lords will be there!"

"Yes."

"Are you not even afraid?"

"Why would I be afraid? It's not like they're going to hurt me."

"You are very strange."

"Why thank you!" she said with a laugh. This was turning out to be a good day after all.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed my story! I'll keep on updating just for all of you:)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Gandalf isn't mine, thankfully…Not that I have anything against the old man, he's just old.

Chapter 8: A Meal Fit For A King.

The table was laden with allsorts of fine foods. Suckling pig roasted golden and crackling, pheasant stuffed with wild herbs, steamed spring vegetables served with melted butter and soft-boiled potatoes, golden, flaky pastries filled with savoury mince… Bridget was full just from looking at it, and they haven't even reached dessert yet!

"Now I have first hand experience of what it means to eat like a king." She said to no-one in particular.

"This is new to you?" Legolas asked, "What sort of things do you eat in your own world?"

"Lots of stuff. It just tends to be plainer and doesn't take all day to prepare."

"Well, it is a good deal of effort to go to if you are just cooking for yourself." Aragorn answered this time.

"I don't cook only for myself. What gave you that idea? There's six people in my family and it's very stressful to cook dinner for all of them." Bridget replied rather angrily.

The servants in the room froze. Surely, this insolent girl would be punished for speaking to the king in such a way? They were wrong. They did not yet know their king very well.

"Six people? Do you have cousins who live with you?"

"My cousins! Purple monkey butts, not on your life! I'd go insane! More than I already am! I've got about forty-three cousins." She replied nonchalantly.

Legolas and Gimli, who had both been sipping their drinks, suddenly choked, Gimli spraying wine all over his plate and Legolas having to get thumped on the back because he was choking.

"Forty-three?" exclaimed Aragorn, "This is another one of your jokes, isn't it?"

Bridget just stared at him. "If it makes you feel any better I haven't actually met all of them."

"But how is that possible!" gasped Legolas, finally able to breath again, "How many siblings do your parents have?"

"My Grandparents on my mothers side had 18 children. Two died, two have no children as of yet, as for the rest? Well, my family size is sort of the norm. And they haven't stopped, and now my cousins are having babies too, and that's not even counting the extended family. I guess you could say we are rather, um… prolific breeders?"

"And your father?" inquired Gimli,

"He was an only child. He has a few cousins, but they live in another country, and I don't really associate with that side of the family."

"You sound sad child?" This was Gandalf speaking, until now he had sat silent at the table, merely watching and listening.

Bridget looked up from her plate and met the old mans gaze. Her reply was unexpected.

"You're a wizard right?" she asked, "Do you know, maybe, if there's like, a way for me to go… back? You know, to my world?" Her voice was hopeful, but forlorn, as if she were already expecting the answer to be no.

"Aragorn has told me of how you came to be here. I have never before heard of something like this, but I do not know everything!" He said with a laugh, "I will need to think about this, and do some research. But, have you not thought perhaps, that you were sent here for a reason?"

"Well if I was, it's not jumping out at me, and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't belong here. I mean, running someone over with a ute? It's not a very _precise_ way of doing things."

Gandalf laughed.

"Is that what that was?" asked Legolas "That big metal cart thing that went so fast?"

"Hm. Yeah, truck-car thing, ute, farm vehicle. Please, don't ask me any more, I don't know."

The rest of the evening past much the same way, and Bridget went to sleep that night happier than she had for a very long time, with the knowledge that she might soon be going home.

A/N: ok, I know were not aloud to reply to reviewers any more, so I'll just say thanks to all of you in general, your support and encouragement is vital to my existence as a writer. I really couldn't do it without you. :)

But don't worry, the storys not over yet! Do you really think I'd make it that easy?


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Legolas likes me. He said so. But still, he's not mine. :(

Weeks had gone by. Bridget had spoken to Gandalf only briefly since the night they had dined together, and he hadn't found anything positive to tell her. She sighed. She had been watching Legolas practise his archery all morning, and even if he had shown absolutely no sign of interest in her, that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy a good perve.

Muscles rippled beneath the light, pale blue silk of his shirt, standing in his archers' stance, staring intently down the shaft of the arrow…

Suddenly he loosed, the arrow making a loud 'Whack!' as it hit the target, and Bridget had been so busy daydreaming that she wasn't paying attention anymore and fell backwards off the wall she was sitting on in shock, going "Waaaaaarghniha!" and then 'Thump!' as she hit the ground.

Picking herself up off the ground, Bridget peered cautiously over the wall and found that Legolas was staring intently down at, not his arrow, but at her.

"Are you alright Bridget?"

"Yes. I'm quite fine, actually." She said calmly, though her cheeks aflame.

"How did you fall off the wall?"

"I ah, lost my balance."

"An elf would never lose their balance."

"Yeah, I've noticed. You never fall over."

"But what made you lose your balance in the first place?" Legolas actually had a pretty clear idea why. He had been aware that Bridget was watching him, and though he didn't quite know how he felt about that, it had given him a strange feeling of pride. Watching out the corner of his eye, he had seen her face go all dreamy, and had thought it was the most peaceful he had every seen her. But now she was frowning and looked like she wanted to strangle something.

"I didn't even lose my balance anyway! I fell off 'cos I wanted to! You should try it some time, it's very… Oh I've forgotten the word! You know, learning experience? Aaah, forget it, I'm useless." The last part was mumbled as Bridget waved her hand dismissively in the air. But Legolas heard her anyway.

"What could I possibly learn from falling off a wall?"

"I said forget it."

"Yes, I heard."

"Then why did you ask for! Bloody mono-browed mongoloid…Hmmph. Later elf."

"Where are going?"

"To see Harod. He said he had something important to tell me."

"You really like this boy, don't you?"

"He's nice. And he has already said he likes me."

"Is it serious?"

"Depends. On weither Gandalf finds a way for me to get home or not."

Legolas was studying Bridgets face. She looked worried, and it saddened him that this had become the norm for her. In a time when everyone was enjoying their hard won peace, he felt it was unfair that she was not happy too. He smiled (we all know the one.), and was rewarded with a smile back.

"Well have fun! And behave yourself!" he said, waging a finger mockingly.

"Haha! You know that's not possible.!"

Laughing, Bridget strolled off, and Legolas watched her go with a touch of sadness in his heart.

Estelle Tiniwiel : I'm glad you like it! Bridget is based loosely on my self, but I only act like that when I feel comfortable with the people I'm with. Bridget does have a lot of random craziness though… Haha, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Child of Fenris : Of course it is! Were else would I get my inspiration?

Gingatastic: Yes. Yes I did. Lol.

I don't have very many regular reviewers do I? I have more. They're just all over the place. Lol.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer; all LOTR characters belong to Tolkien. I have stolen them but they will be returned in due time.

It was later that evening. Legolas and Gimli had spent all day practising their fighting skills and were now going up to the citadel for supper.

"Don't smirk at me like that elf, I let you win!"

"Oh? It's not just because I'm better than you?"

Legolas laughed to himself as Gimli stomped off, mumbling about pointy-eared-elvish-princelings and their innate ability to be insufferable.

It wasn't until they were all sitting down to dinner that Legolas noticed that Bridget was not present, and he hadn't seen her since that morning. It was far too late for her to be out on her own, but Legolas hoped she was not still with that Harod boy. That would just be indecent.

"Has anyone seen Bridget come in?" he asked casually. No-one had. "If you would excuse me Aragorn, I think I will go look for her."

Legolas decided to go straight to Horods' house. He was pretty certain that Bridget would be there, but he didn't know what he was going to do to her if she was.

Harod answered the door. "Lord Legolas!" he squealed, dropping to his knees in a hasty bow.

"No, Harod, please, stand up. I'm here for Bridget."

"Bridget? She's not here." He said in a bewildered voice.

"But she said she was coming to see you."

"She did. This morning. She's not here now." Now he sounded defensive. "Didn't she go back to the palace?"

"No. I haven't seen her since she left this morning to talk to you. What did you say to her?"

"I didn't do anything! And I don't know where she is! Maybe you should be out looking for her instead of bothering me!" He yelled as he slammed the door in Legolas's face.

Legolas was astounded. And furious. How dare this mortal barely out of nappies speak to him like that! He was a prince of Mirkwood! When he found Bridget he'd tell her what he thought of that little orc-turd. He wasn't good enough for her.

Finding her however proved to be easier said than done. She wasn't at the Houses of Healing, one of the few places where trees grew within the city, she wasn't at any of the other places she liked to go, she wasn't in her room at the palace. Legolas was at a loss. Where could she have gone?

Wandering around the outer-most ring of the city he was stopped by one of the guards at the gate.

"Are you looking for the young lady Bridget, Master elf?"

"Yes! Have you seen her?"

"Aye. She is down by the river. Looked mighty upset when she went out too."

"Thank you sir." Legolas called out as he ran through the gate and out of the city.

Bridget was indeed, as the guard had said, down by the river, sitting on a bolder with her feet in the water. She was wearing only the loose shirt and skirt that she had been wearing that morning, and the water of the river was always icy, she must have been freezing.

"Bridget? What are you doing down here?"

She didn't answer, just continued to sit there, unmoving. Kneeling on the cold rock next to her, he saw her eyes were closed. Taking her gently by the arm, he said again, "Bridget?"

Without opening her eyes, she said in a whisper so soft even he could barely hear it, "Harod is getting married. To some one else. Because his mother said I wasn't good enough. He actually _said_ that, that his _mother_ said I wasn't good enough. I feel like a dope. I actually thought he cared."

"Bridget, I went to see Harod. He isn't good enough for you! He's a spoiled little mommas boy who deserves to be dunked in the river!" Legolas was glad to see that this brought a small smile to her face. "Come on, it is cold out here, and you can't handle it like me."

Bridget looked up at him. In the cold pale light of the moon her eyes were deep pools of darkness, like a forest spring beneath the shade of the trees, they drew him in, and he could feel himself drowning... Then she sighed, breaking the spell. "I'm stupid." She mumbled, taking his proffered hand.

Legolas smiled, kissing her lightly on the top of her head before leading her back to the citadel, glad that she was safe.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

Mystic angel of the tarit; you changed your name! Any particular reason why? Or were you just bored? Lol. It sounds cool anyway.

Ssterkty; yay! You like me! I'm glad you like the 'scatteredness', this is the first fanfic I've written and I write it when I'm stressed or bored as a bit of light relief. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Child of Fenris; **He'll be here in the next chapter! **pushy bastard…or maybe the next, depends on if Bridget fart-arses-around much more...


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer**; Camacil is mine. Creation of my genius thank you very much. Not I anyway based on someone that I know in real life. You can't prove anything! Oh, and Bridget is still mine, if anyone wants to borrow her just email me, and we can talk shop. ;-).

Gandalf was resting it the shade of the trees in the garden by the houses of healing, watching Aragorn's small children play, when Bridget came up next to him and made a nervous coughing sound.

"Ah, Bridget, what brings you to see an old man?"

"I know you're not really old Gandalf. Can I sit?"

"Of course child, you don't have to ask. Did you want to ask if I've found anything?" Gandalf smiled to himself as the lines of worry smoothed from Bridget's face and she sighed in relief. His smile didn't last long when he remembered what the answer would be.

"Have you Gandalf? Found anything?"

"I am sorry child. There was only one scroll that had any similarities to your own story, and I do not think that writer ever made it home." To his surprise she did not look upset, rather, she looked determined.

"Do you think I could look at this scroll? Maybe I'll notice something, some analogy to something from my world that you wouldn't pick up, something…"

"Why is it so important for you to return to your world?"

"Because it's my home. Do you know, 'The Lord of the Rings' is a story where I'm from? They made a movie out of it, like a play, and they used my country as the basis for all the scenery. Every thing there is here, from Gondor to the Woods of Lothlorien to the Shire to Mordor, I have in my own little country. Even if most of the structures were made in a studio, the places are still there, you just have to know were to look for them."

This was news to Gandalf. A story? They were a story? How was that possible?

"Anyway," Bridget continued, "That's not what's important. I miss my family, and, I don't know why, I just don't feel like I belong here. You know how you can feel connected to a place and nowhere else ever really feels like home? That's how I feel, like the lands rejected me. Or something."

Gandalf considered this for a moment, (which is to say he stared at her in shock.), before answering, "I shall have that scroll for you by tonight."

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Later that night, as Bridget was reading the scroll, she gave everyone else present in the room a terrible shock as she jumped out of her chair screaming "Shit-fucked-purple-monkeys-in-a-blender! Milkshaaake! You have to die to get back!"

"What in Middle-Earth are you screaming about?" Legolas demanded angrily.

"How I get back to my world! I have to die!"

"Where does it say that?" Gandalf asked in a shocked voice.

"Right here! It's in txt code, so of course you wouldn't have picked it up. Look, _'wht a bastrd. Trns out I av 2 cark it 2 gt bk hm. Hu wud av thought? Bt frankly I dnt fink my 4mer life is worf da risk, id ratha sty in Middle-Earth, mayb il meet Aragorn?' _See! Oh god! Die!"

"Maybe you have it wrong," Whispered Gandalf, "It doesn't actually say 'death' or 'die' anywhere in there."

"What do you think _'cark it'_ means hmm? It's a dysphemism for die."

"Do you really want to go home that much Bridget?" Legolas's voice was very soft.

"What? Oh yes, course. Hmm. I wonder how this guy found this out."

Legolas watched her, herforehead creased in concentration. Was she serious? She was going to kill her self just to get home? What if it didn't work? How could he live with himself if he let die?

"I don't think you should do it."

"What? Why not?"

"If it doesn't work you would have just killed yourself for nothing. I wont let you do it."

"Geesh Legolas, you make it sound so dramatic. It's not like I'm going to slit my wrists or anything."

"Then just how are you going to die?" He was angry now. How could she be so calm about this?

"I'm going to jump off a cliff. Into the ocean. That way, if it doesn't work, you wont have to know. And there won't be any overly extended goodbyes that would make every thing go all soppy. And I will finally get to see the ocean, that's what I've missed the most since being here, the sea is to far away. I've always lived next to the sea you know, I miss the smell of salt."

A/N: Dun dun dun..! Well what do you think of that! Pretty good chapter, even if I do say so my self. Will Bridget do it? Will it work? And how will Legolas cope with the feelings he won't admit he's having? Review please! I need feed back. Thanks:)

**ArwenEvenstar83**; I'm glad you like it! Yes, Harod is a wimpy little momma's boy, and I want to kick him. Lets just leave him in the computer shall we?

**Fk306 animelover**; I've updated! Hope you like. :)

**lgfrommk2931**; Well, were do I start? Firstly a ute is like a car that just has the front seats and the back is like a built in trailer. It's a farm vehicle. Secondly, what do you mean nappies? I don't get it. And last, Holy Crapness! HAHAHAHAHA! OMG I love that! And yes I love living in New Zealand, it's more beautiful in person than it is on a screen. We are having climate problems because of the hole in the ozone layer though, Nelson, where I live, dries up and runs out of water in summer (now). But that's not fanfiction, so we wont worry about it. Thanks for reviewing, you really brightened my day. What a character. Oh! Haha, now I know what nappies! Sorry, I had to go re-read it. Nappies are diapers, you know, what babies wear to catch their messes. Lol. :)

**Child of Fenris**; Well I suppose I should thank you for the "quite cute" thing, but I was feeling sensitive that day and you messed me up! Stupid cheesy questions, I almost cried… … … ... ………... …………...

... ………...…………...…… lol, man that's cool.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer; No Tolkien recognizable characters are mine. All hail the long awaited return of Camacil!

The sun was rising. As Bridget stood upon the edge of the cliff, leaning into the breeze, her hair whipped around her face, tasting the salt tang of the sea, Legolas watched her and thought she had never looked more beautiful.

Today was the day. Bridget was going to jump off a cliff. He couldn't believe it! This was suicide!

"Gandalf!" He cried, "You're not really going to let her do this?"

"I told you Legolas, I researched this. It is completely sound. Once I knew what I was looking for I recognized more references in other scrolls. The evidence also complies with how Bridget herself came to be here. Trust me Legolas, this is the only way for Bridget to return to her own world."

Legolas was still fuming. That wasn't good enough! Why was he the only one who saw how stupid this was? And why wasn't Camacil here yet? Legolas had sent a messenger bird back to Mirkwood as soon as he knew for sure that Bridget was going through with this madness. Camacil should have been here days ago. He would have to stall for time. Again.

"Bridget…wait, um…"

"Yes? Last good-byes? Don't go getting all mushy on me elf-boy, you know I'm not good with sentimentality."

"Why do you have to go at all? You could stay here."

"With you?"

"Me? What? Why would you say that?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe I thought you had another reason for wanting me to stay. But you're just…concerned for my safety?"

She was staring at him, not blinking. With the sun behind her, her eyes were dark, though he knew in the light they would shine an almost red mahogany brown, like her hair. He could get lost in those eyes, it was rather unnerving.

"Yes, your safety. I was concerned. And-"

But whatever Legolas was going to say next was lost as who should come riding up on roan stallion but Camacil, looking about as disheveled as it is possible for an elf to look while still being perfectly gorgeous.

'About bloody time!' thought Legolas.

"Bridget! Where are you going without giving me a goodbye kiss?"

"Camacil? Ha! The only kisses you'll be getting are from your horse."

"Haha, very funny." He said, walking up to her and putting an arm around her waist in order to turn her around and put himself between her and the cliff edge. "Seriously Bridge, what are you doing? You don't need to pull stunts like this to get attention, just being you is enough."

"I'm not 'pulling a stunt' spaz-cake, this is serious. Get out of the way."

"I can't let you do this, I'm your friend and I care about you."

"God damn you have you got monkey nuts for brains! I know what I'm bloody well doing!"

Bridget and Camacil are now grappling with each other right on the edge of the cliff. Camacil, surprised at how strong Bridget really is (she's been doing archery with Legolas), is momentarily caught off his guard. Taking full advantage of the situation Bridget reaches up as high as she can and punches him square on the nose.

"Oww! You bitchth, thath's my nosth!" he yells, stumbling backwards holding his face, "it'sth bleeding!"

"Oh my god I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, Camacil stop!"

Bridget saw the danger before he did, but it was too late. Camacil takes one too many steps backwards and stumbles over the edge, Bridget jumps forward to grab his hand and just reaches it, but she doesn't have the weight to stop the momentum and with a shocked cry the two of them tumble over the cliff.

"No!" Legolas cries out, running forward and peering over the edge. "It's not possible! They're gone!"

The others join him. Far below the sea surges and crashes it self against the rocks, but the two friends would not yet have had time to reach it. They had simply vanished.

"Well I guess it worked then." Mumbled Gandalf, more than a little awed, "And it appears Camacil has gone with her. At lest he will not be alone in a strange world, as Bridget was."

"No…" Legolas sighs, whether from agreeing with Gandalf, or because he still can't believe that Bridget is really gone, we'll never know.

A few moments later, in a place far, far away, directly above Waikoropupu Springs in the South Island of New Zealand, as a matter of fact, two figures suddenly appear in the sky, plummet down, and fall with a loud splash and an ungainly flailing of limbs into the ever cold, turquoise clear blue water.

"Aaaaarrrrrg! My limbs! It's coold!" Bridget screams when her head pops up out of the water.

"Wow!" Calls Camacil, "I've gone all numb! I've never been numb before."

"Ssssnot on you, sssspaz-cake. Why'd you have to be sssso possssitive." She shiver-talks as she crawls out of the lake.

Luckily for them, it was the middle of winter in New Zealand, so there weren't any Asians, Germans, Englishmen, or tourists of any other ethnicity's standing around with cameras taking photos of themselves. So they were safe for a while from having to explain how they fell out of the sky to any media, scientists, or worse, politicians.

"Do you know where we are?" Camacil asks.

"Yes. I've been here with my family. Come on, I know the way home."

Together they start to walk along the road, both looking forward to a hot bath and dry clothes, unaware of the strange twist of fate that had been played on them.

A/N: Well folks, that's the end of Moonshine. But don't worry, I have a sequel already clogging up my brain, I just need LOTS and LOTS of REVIEWS so that I know it's worth bugging my friends to let me use their computers over, seeing as how I don't have one. So don't leave me hanging! Make me feel loved. ;o).

Aaarg! I forgot review responses, but here they are;

ArwenEvenstar83; Yes the text phone writing was hard to read, but it had to be, other wise Gandalf wouldn't have missed it. And I did explain about "cark it", it is a disphemism for dying commonly used in New Zealand. And as for suicide? Well, shes not dead yet is she? So don't worry, thanking you very muchly for the support!

Fk306 animelover; Lol, I will thank you again and again, I just love reviews.

Estelle Tiniwiel; I'm so happy you like my use of language! Words give me thrills. Ohhhhuhu…shivers.

Child of Fenris; Hahahahaha! She doesn't die! And now Camacil has been dragged away on a adventure and I'm going to torture him!

LOTR Lover 24 and 7; Numbers 24 and 7? Ok cool. No you haven't reviewed my story before, but please, don't stop now, I love hearing from people who like my writing, and even those who don't. They give me a laugh.


End file.
